Weaned toddler still asks to breastfeed?
Hi,my name is Anne,I did the following:
Question: Weaned toddler still asks to breastfeed?
I weaned my breastfed son a month after he turned two for medical reasons. Five months later he still asks for “nums-nums.” I tell him repeatedly that there is no more milk, and every night he asks to just hold it. It seems he can’t go to sleep unless he has one hand in my shirt. Will he ever forget or give it up?
Also I am due with my second in a few months and plan to breastfeed. Will he be jealous? ask to join?
I loved our nursing relationship, but this is driving me crazy…
Thanks for your help.
ANSWER:
Answer by Kristy
Not to sound rude…but thats why i wouldnt bf a baby past a year old.
Answer by sowhat1different
Someone I know has knitted ‘boobies’ that she gave her toddler to cuddle… a bit bizarre maybe, but it worked for her?
Answer by afwifey maintainin
so for medical reasons you had to breastfeed until he was 2. fine. but now that he’s off the boob, keep him off it. don’t let him put his hand in your shirt. you’re encouraging his behavior if you continue to let it go on. be firm with the child
Answer by stacey p
He sounds like he may not have been ready to wean. He needs the comfort even if there is no milk or anything. I would offer him a blankie and a cuddle and just keep telling him that num nums are gone.
I think you may be okay with the baby. What will probably happen is he will ask if he can nurse and what I would do is let him try and most kids figure out that they don’t remember how and then will get over it. Where as if you say no repeatedly and he sees baby nursing, he will keep nagging and feel badly that you won’t let him. Most kids forget how to nurse and he won’t remember why he liked it before.
Edited to add: The previous posters (most of them at least) seem to know nothing about extended breastfeeding and sound like close minded formula feeders to me. I think it is cruel to yank a comfort away from a child (like breastfeeding) just because he has a birthday. Oh, and the American Academy of Pediatrics recomends nursing until AT LEAST two years old or preferably as long as mutually acceptable. Google Child Led Weaning.
Answer by onandonandonanon
He won’t if you keep giving in to him! It’s OK to say NO to your kid! Why on earth were you breastfeeding him when he was more than old enough to hold a cup? If you still wanted him on breast milk you could have put it in a cup! I think it messes your kid up when you treat them like a baby long after they should be! Just say NO and put him to bed, if he has to cry a few nights to get over it, so be it, but you need to MAKE him get over it!
Answer by itsjustme
Since you elected to breastfeed your child waaaay longre than necessary, you’re finding yourself in a delima. Stop him from holding your breast! Tell him tht he is just too old for breast feeding! Since you are due in a few months, do not allow the first child to ‘join in” when breast feeding the newborn. I find it extemely repulsive when a child over the age of 12 or 14 months is still breast feeding!
Answer by J.J.
He can still have..if he wants it let him have it and let him do it until he decides he does not want to do it anymore. I don’t think he’ll be jealous..at all.
Answer by KarenBoBaren
My mom breastfed my little sister until she was almost three. She was a really sickly baby for medical reasons and the comfort and nutrition of “nummies” was great for her.
She is normal now at 5, so don’t worry (also, I’m actually not young – I’m about 2 decades older than my sister lol). Every kid is different. If it bothers you, just be firm with him. He will be ok in a couple weeks. Since it has been so long, I would advise to cut him off. Yes, he may cry himself to sleep, and it is heartbreaking, but there is nothing you can do, and he will be fine in a couple days. As another person suggested, give him something like a blanket to cuddle. Or maybe try a glass of milk before bed?
Answer by Mommy to 8 month old Jacob
this is the problem with extended breastfeeding..the kid remembers and it’s a habit so they want it….don’t even let him hold your breast anymore..you must get him used to the idea of being off the breast and when his new sibling comes do not let him join in…he’s had his time and now it’s time for baby. once kids can eat real food there is absolutely no need for breastfeeding except for comfort and there are better ways to teach him to comfort himself or to seek comfort from mommy. Unless there are medical reasons like above then there is no real need to breastfeed that long…he needs to learn other ways of comfort.
breastfeeding if for babies and he is a big boy now. I don’t care what the studies say…not in the least.
Answer by Chad B
Well, this is a hard one. You obviously don’t want jealousy issues with the new baby. I suggest somehow replacing that kind of comfort with something else. A blanket, a stuffed animal something of that sorts. Introduce it by having him hold that also while cuddling to sleep, so after a couple weeks, he will get the idea of “when I hold this, I am comforted” Also, have you tried putting him to bed with a sippy cup with warm milk in it? Not the same thing obviously, but it could simulate the warmness of breast milk.
As for those other people, ignore them, they obviously are going by what society dictates not The World Health Organization.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
as a nurse I can tell you a lot of mothers have this issue if they breast feed past a year old. I had four children myself and stopped breast feeding when first tooth was cut for each, only because I did not want to deal with this issue and after first tooth they should be learning to drink from sippy cup anyway. As bottle and breastfeeding can coat their teeth and ruin enamel.
When you have you new baby you will have a 2 probably 3 yr old by them who will want to breastfeed again you need to be patient and strong and tell him that the milk is for the baby and be sure when baby is sleeping to spend extra time focusing on him and spending time with him to avoid jealousy. also to help with this I would enlist your husband as a mother of 4 kids it is very important that you include you older one. And reassure him he is loved just as much and tell him stories about all the cool things he will be able to do with a brother or sister when they baby is a little older. Good Luck
I nursed my daughter for about 14-15 months. She was just ready to quit. She still sticks her hands down my shirt and squeezes my boob randomly. I don’t get onto her for it, in public I just kind of shoo her hand away.
People think that breasts are for sexual use and thoughts only. Well, they fed my baby for over a year. The most natural thing in the world.
I have talked to other mothers who nursed and their kids do the same thing.
Aww, poor guy! Sounds like he really wasn’t ready to wean, and of course his “lovey” is the thing that brought him such comfort- nothing odd about that! Yes, eventually he will outgrow it. You can gently wean him by saying that your breasts are really sensitive but he can touch your arm or belly instead. Will he want to nurse again? Possibly. It’s up to you whether to let him try (and likely fail since once they stop nursing they quickly lose memory of how to properly suckle) or perhaps express a bit of milk into a cup. Play up his “big bro” role- get him a present for becoming a big bro, and let him pick out something for his new baby bro/sis. Allow him to help you as much as possible (bring dipes/wipes- that sort of thing) so he feels involved, and knows how proud you are of him. It’s the jealousy factor that would have made me tandem nurse if my IUD had failed. LOL
GL!
Oh, and for the “nurse” who weans at the first tooth- seriously, how can you go against the recommendations of your profession? That just wows me. My daughter’s first tooth erupted at 3 months- that’s far too early to wean! And breastmilk, fresh breastmilk does NOT cause tooth decay. The only studies I have seen saying that it does were with stored, frozen bm on rats. Breastmilk does not pool in the mouth when a baby is actively nursing, and actually has chemicals that inhibit decay.
He is to old. This is the major problem. The organizations don’t want to talk about this issue is because they want women to stay home long as possible. They know this is a big issue, as lot of people say major problem in extended breastfeeding is the child rules you! He is to old, what are you teaching him that its okay to stick your hand down a womans shirt anytime you want?
Is he going to be a rapist? I”m sorry, he doesn’t seem like a normal young-man! I have 2 children they are gifted and in advanced programs. I breastfed each child until 6 months they are healthly. There is not need to go over board. What happenes if he wants your breast until he is 7 or even 12? there are many kids that still do. like that 8 year old girl that still breastfeeds in london.
As a mother most of these extended breastfeeding is not for the childs benefit its for the lonely mother. Who does have a job. Sorry but your son is a sick child. Get him some help. Future rapist/pedofille!
…Also what does your husband think? Alot of men wouldn’t like their sons to be little pussies and take over their wifes body.
You have a new baby comming don’t ruin it, concenrate on that newborn, and please wean when she is aleast 1 year or you are going to face problems. Why on earth would you let him go for so long! OMG. Really it does make a difference, its proven fact that as long as you breastfeed your baby, they will still be healthly. If you breastfeed a 2 or 3 4 5 year old thats when mental issus kick in – like needy-ness as we see in your situation! My daughter and son are fine 6 months off the breast and by 2 they new how to feed them selfs better than your son whom is a boob sucker! he’ll be 40 and still at home – wanting mommy to make is food. really is that what you want or would you like a stong independent man.
…Also what does your husband think? Alot of men wouldn’t like their sons to be little pussies and take over their wifes body.
You have a new baby comming don’t ruin it, concenrate on that newborn, and please wean when she is aleast 1 year or you are going to face problems. Why on earth would you let him go for so long! OMG. Really it does make a difference, its proven fact that as long as you breastfeed your baby, they will still be healthly. If you breastfeed a 2 or 3 4 5 year old thats when mental issus kick in – like needy-ness as we see in your situation! My daughter and son are fine 6 months off the breast and by 2 they new how to feed them selfs better than your son whom is a boob sucker! he’ll be 40 and still at home – wanting mommy to make is food. really is that what you want or would you like a stong independent man.
Breastfeeding is for babies…not children!
Just to let you all know breastfeeding/milk is NOT ALWAYS BEST! Proven fact that was published in the paper. The breastfeeding organization incourages all mothers to breastfeed, even though if a mother is not healthy. My sister is a smoker she was incouraged to still breastfeed, how can a smokers milk be better than baby formula? Really now…ladies who extend breastfeeding are ignorant! What ever you do for your baby doesn’t make a difference. I was breastfed by my mother until i was 2. I remember it. NO warm feelings when you are older. It kind of makes me sick. Today my brother has horrible feelings toward women. He hates breast because it reminds him of our mother. He has lost 2 relationships! Because of extended breastfeeding. My cousin that received breastmilk from her mom-she is 31 today and still gets sick and she is obeast/fat.
It is proven breastmilk doesn’t always gurantee healthly amazing humans beyond any flaw! If you are ment to be sick you will be. how is a 3 year old getting good nutristion when the mother is eating the food first then passing it down. at 3 isn’t it better for them to actually eat the veggies themselves? BREASTFEEDING IS ONLY FOR BABIES BECAUSE A MOTHER NEEDS TO BREAK THE FOOD DOWN FOR THE NEWBORN THAT CAN’T EAT!
EVEN DOGS/CATS ANIMALS KNOW WHEN TO STOP! WOW THIS LADIES DOESN’T LOL. HER SON IS GOING TO THINK ITS OKAY TO RIP SHIRTS OF OF WOMEN. HE IS A MALE AFTER ALL THEY THINK WITH THEIR DICKS.
Anne, I really hope you didn’t pay attention to these negative and uninformed responses. What your son is doing is perfectly normal and your response to him is important. Breastfeeding is a very personal choice but I think you did a wonderful thing for him by providing him the best nutrition the planet has to offer for as long as you did. My little girl is going through a similar phase (continued interest in the breasts), which is why I found your post. All the other sites I went to explained how normal this is and it’s perfectly okay to let him touch your breasts for comfort or explore nursing. He will grow out of it and by being gentle with him, he will only develop a very healthy attitude toward women.