My friend just had a baby…?
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Q&A: My friend just had a baby…?
tommorow the baby girl will be 1 month old, A lot of Our friends are worried about the behavior of the new mom, the baby is less than a month old and she has taken her out to the fair late at night in the cold, She then decided to take the baby on a roadtrip to visit family in Tennesse, the baby has had no shots yet, She is still a newborn, Plus her family she is going to see smokes weed and The baby will be in the house with these people..a group of us are so worried..some of us have kids some don’t the ones who do said they never took there baby out much when they were this young..are we being too worried or is she too careless? She is a young Mom and it is apparent she is not very educated on babies what do you think?
I know babies don’t have shots until 2 months, but taking the baby in the cold, then the baby got sick, they don’t have other children to take to the fair..this is the 1st child, no reason to go..I know your life does not stop when having a kid but You need to slow down and think of the baby first..Plus she got high all weekend and now she went away without the father and we are worried, she never wakes up to feed the baby at night, the father does..I just think she is not taking care of herself and the baby and We wanted other opinions.
OK we are not just sitting around everday talking about her, I don’t have children all my friends do and they are the ones who brought the concern to me so I feel they are the ones who should say something since she knows they have children, I was just asking others opinions on the situation. I have my own life and I am more than willing to help, she is not someone I hang out with everyday, But may I add that when she was pregnant she was drinking, doing drugs and going to the club. It is not like she is just taking the baby out late once and a while.
The answer in the following:
Answer by TylersMommy<3
1. roadtrip with an infant… CRAZY. 2. taking a baby into an environment where there will be weed, also CRAZY… I think she is just very uneducated and I think you guys have cause to be concerned… this is not really ideal behavior for a mom with a new baby.
Answer by Veronica’s Mommy
well the baby doesnt get shots yet… maybe get her some books on what happens to babies around smoke and drugs…. and maybe also some how mother books… maybe you guys need to sit down with her and voice your concerns…
Answer by Emily E
Are you friends with Brittney Spears? No baby has shots before 1 month, and going out late might not be a problem by its self, taking your baby along to get high on weed is a big problem! Does she have a mom you can call, or does the baby have a daddy?
Answer by Cherry
Very sad situation. The mom needs education for the most part. Is there anyone that can talk to her? Someone that she will listen to and trust? I hope someone can help her to understand how to better care for her baby.
Answer by tarie75
Get some help for your friend and her baby fast, before something happens. If you have to turn her into social services. She has no right to act that way with a baby. Sorry to be so harsh, but the best bet would be for someone else to take care of the baby till she can act like a good mom.
Answer by Prego
Educate her, but do it in a roundabout way, like tell her something like, “Oh my goodness, I read an article in the (Input credible source here) and it was about the harms you can cause your newborn by schlepping them around like a potato at all hours of the night” (I am sure you will find better wording)
Ask her what she thinks about such an article, and let her know the harm that this behavior causes a newborn baby. If you make the problem into a third person problem (like so and so is doing this) she might get the hint and re-evaluate her actions.
If she doesn’t, as a friend, it is your duty to let her know what errors she is committing.
Answer by Wishmaster
do you know for a fact that these people in tenesse are going to smoke weed in front of the baby or around the baby? Did she have the baby bundled up right for the cold?
I took my son out to a fair when he was just 2 weeks old, i didn’t think it was fair to my older boy that he couldn’t go just because i had a baby.
Some people don’t take their baby out much when its a newborn, me personally i took my baby everywhere so that i could show hm off and i will do the same when i have this baby.
She may be a young mother but that doesn’t mean she is a stupid mother and i am sure she is looking out for the best interest of her baby, and if she isn’t an educated mom why aren’t you helping her to become more educated?
ADD: having a baby doesn’t mean your whole life stops and you should be confined to your home, you do the same things you would do if you weren’t pregnant only with a baby in tow.
Answer by Bradley’sMoM
Babies don’t get first shots until 2 months old.
Mom has the right to take the baby anywhere she pleases, I’m sure she’s smart enough to know to dress baby warm.
We all have questionable friends, doesn’t mean we’re bad parents.
Just because they are visiting weed smokers doesn’t mean they are going to get the baby high. Even pot smokers have common sense.
Many moms take their babies on road trips as newborns.
Relax.
Get her a new mom book if you think she’ll read it or sign her up for BabyTalk, a free magazine for new moms with lots of information.
Here’s the site to sign her up for a free subscription.
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/babytalk/channel
Answer by amb2723
The fair might have been a bit much if it was late and cold. But if it was early in the evening and cool out there is not a problem. As for the road trip, so what!!!! She went to see family. Lets just hope she has mind enough to stay somewhere else or leave when they were smoking there pot. People might frown on me but we went to the street fair with our baby at that age but it was nice out and we were home by 9:00. We went to walmart on the way home form the hospital. One other thing the baby should have only need 1 shot so far. The rest come at 2 months.
If you feel the baby is in that much danger talk to her. Give her suttle ideas or call child services.
Answer by iDance
Maybe you should educate her. It isn’t a bad idea to take a child on a road trip there is nothing wrong with that, it could be bad for the mother because she just had the baby a month ago. Now the weed thing and shots, that is an issue. Have you ever talked to her about any of theese things? If not you should do so because just asking if it is wrong or right isn’t going to help the problem. Now if she is told all the things that she is doing wrong and doesn’t change or stop doing them then you need to worry about it.
Be careful not to over analyze and make sure you have your facts straight. When talking to her don’t accuse her because this will cause her to not listen.
Add your own answer in the comments!
You are definitely not being too worried. It sounds like your friend needs some serious help figuring out what is appropriate to do with a new baby.
I would start by going to her and talking to her about your concerns. Explain to her very clearly (but nicely) exactly what behaviours you are seeing that make you worry about the baby’s safety. Maybe she just doesn’t understand some things that seem to be common sense, like you need to keep babies covered because their bodies don’t stay as warm as adults. And she should *definitely* not be exposing the baby to an environment where there is drug use going on. And she needs to understand that too.
Try to be prepared when you talk to her and have a list or schedule of parenting classes that are available in your area. Most hospitals offer free or low cost classes to new moms.
If all else fails and she won’t listen to you or just doesn’t start being more responsible in the way she is caring for the baby, she needs to be turned in to your department of children’s services. Someone needs to be watching out for the baby so she isn’t seriously hurt or dies because things don’t change and nobody is willing to step up and be her guardian angel. I’m sure it wouldn’t be easy to do that to your friend, but if it’s in the greater good for the baby’s well-being, it’s what would need to be done.
I really hope and pray that the light bulb comes on for her friend and she starts caring for the baby appropriately. But if not, please don’t be afraid to be the voice for the baby and make sure she’s protected. *hugs*
You’re too worried – babies even at one month are fine to be exposed to the outside air (it’s actually a lot better for them than the over-circulated dirty & dusty air being breathed in at home). As for the pot smoking, I would hope her family has enough common sense to not smoke it in the house with a baby there, and if they don’t I would think she would tell them to take it outside. How good a friend is she? It seems to me you cannot be that close, because you are gossiping with other women about her, and on here asking advice instead of trusting the parenting skills of a friend. If you’re really that concerned, talk to her about it.
You guys HAVE to step up and prevent the mom from doing things like that to the baby… taking her at night in the cold, taking her on long road trips, etc, can be very harmful to her fragile body… and you should call the police if there is a reslistic possibility of the baby staying at a house where drugs are being used…
Why don’t you guys offer to take care of the baby while the mom is away, traveling, partying, etc? … if the mom refuses to leave the baby with you guys, then one of you should offer to go with her to “help out”.
Make sure you talk nice to the mom, otherwise she is going to think that you guys are trying to “be smart” or trying to “lecture” her.
You guys should also, get small gifts ($1 bibs, socks, burp cloths, etc), and “stop by”, once in a while, as a pretext to see if everything is OK with the baby.
I took my baby wherever i went. If that meant late night at dennys, I took her. At a month old they are sleeping in the warm carrier anyhow it didnt seem to matter to her or to me. She was bundled up and warm. Into a house that pot is being smoked is bad, but if they really arent smoking it then theres nothing wrong with taking the baby to see family. She may have to pull over alot for diapers and feeding, but that isn’t your business. You should probably spend more time playing with your own children rather than sitting around gossping about your “friend”