I am pregnant by my exboyfriend can I give my baby up for adoption in Michigan if he already knows?

Anne edited the following
Question: I am pregnant by my exboyfriend can I give my baby up for adoption in Michigan if he already knows?

We both reside in Michigan, I already have a child from a previous and only marriage, but neither one of us are in the position to take care a of a child at the moment. I think it would be in the best interest of this child to find a home for it that can provide a loving, nourishing, educating, and stable home.

ANSWER:

Answer by Coco L
I’m pretty sure the father has to agree to the adoption no matter what state you live in. He has a right to raise the child if he wants to, even if you think it’s in the best interest to give it up. Maybe you should contact a lawyer to give you all the right answers. I don’t know, maybe legal aide, or family court could help.

Answer by everyone loves a green eyed girl
No matter what state you live in- as that childs father he has rights. So talk to him and ask him about him terminating his rights to the baby and if he will sign the adoption papers. If no then he will have to take care of the baby. But sounds like he doesn’t have his life together enough to do that so just talk to him and find out. What is the worst that can happen?

Answer by JoHn S.
Even if you COULD do it without his consent, please don’t. The only person who this won’t affect is you, in regard to ignoring the father’s wishes. It could devastate him, the adoptive parents and especially the child.

Answer by sunny
I was given up for adoption in Michigan as an infant. I was raised by lower-middle class parents who discouraged education, hobbies, and curiosity. They presented to the agency as “loving” and “kind”. Some potential adopters think they want adopted children, only to find out that raising adopted children is very different than raising your own.

My adoptive mother used my other adopted brother as punching bags while her two bio kids looked on and sniggered. I never went on a vacation in my entire childhood, and was on my own for college. I was babysitting from the age of twelve, and began working at 14.

Adoption is not always wonderful. My natural mother and father were from very nice families, but they thought they were not ready to parent, and their families pressured them to choose adoption. I have known them both for over 20 years, and they both REGRET it, and their lives were dramatically affected by giving their child away.

It wasn’t good for anyone. Adoption is not a fairy tale, and there are NO guarantees in adoption. Do some reading; you need to learn that there is NO better place for your baby than to be with you.

http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.babyscoopera.com
http://www.bastards.org/bq/babb2.html

Adoption studies:
http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionforensics,0919-7.htm
http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/topics/psychopathstudies.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/wendys_pres.html

Books:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton
The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton
The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler
Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

Answer by samurai & isis
the father has to agree with the adoption.if you do it without his say he can get a lawyer involved and it will be a big mess.but if he want the baby you can give him full rights to the child.i would talk with a lawyer to see what you can do.

Answer by ladyren
How wonderful that you recognize your inability to parent at this time. Sure, called Planned Parenthood… google your city+ planned Parenthood. They’ll have all the references.

Edit:
I’m sorry for the lady above who was not adopted by loving parents. Her story is rather rare. My best girl friend was adopted, and had a lovely childhood, the best, loving parents on the planet. She is now an equine vet…. one of the best in the nation. How sad for that lady above. That would be a rare incident. I have as well other friends who have adopted children and adopted children out, and none have a horror story like that….Nothing is certain, that is for sure, but that story is rare.

Answer by Still Me
You can make an adoption decision independently of him. However, when the termination comes before the judge, they will look to make sure he is not registered with Paternity Registry in Michigan. If he protests the termination, he can hire an attorney and fight the proceedings. it is always best to come to a mutual agreement about adoption, by both parents searching for the best answer for their child’s long term well being. Good luck to you all..

Answer by Sherman
if you give up this child, the first choice for custody goes to the biological father. if he doesn’t want the baby, then it will go up for adoption easily. if a family member wants the baby, they will let them try to adopt first, if not, the baby goes with the rest. listen, no one can afford a baby, unless you are rich, but millions of people have kids. it doesn’t always take a ton of money to raise a child, it takes just what you have – love, care, kindness. if you can’t handle it, by all means give it up. be careful when having sex if you are just going to give babies up so easily. not all babies get adopted into loving, caring homes, right? the baby may end up off worse than if it stays with you. it’s your life, your decision. good luck

Answer by Sweetharttt
The father will have to sign papers relinquishing the child before you can proceed. You are doing the best thing for the child at this point and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer by dawnebeker
Even if he knows it is fine, you just would both have to sign over your parental right. There are many couples, such as myself who would love to adopt.

Our adoption site-

What do you think? Answer below!

educating a baby adoption, Already, Baby, exboyfriend, Give, knows, Michigan., Pregnant