How many believe parenting/raising children is a cut and dry process?
Anne edited the following
Question: How many believe parenting/raising children is a cut and dry process?
Between parenting books, discussions on here, magazines, tv shows, and the many other areas in which parenting is the subject, it appears many people seem to believe there is usually one true way to raise children, their way.
How many parents, if they opt to breast feed are tolerable to those who bottle feed?
How many parents who have their children supervised nearly every moment of the day are tolerable to those who feel comfortable leaving them unsupervised, despite the age?
How many parents who feel their children must be walked to the bus stop/school are tolerable to those who opt to allow them to walk on their own?
How many parents who feel that scheduled sports/activities are certain this is the only way to keep children away from the evils of youth (drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, etc) are tolerable of those who do not feel so compelled to follow suite?
Etc.
ANSWER:
Answer by pdooma
If anything, parenting is a messy and, er, liquid experience.
Answer by Ashly
Its not cut and dry but i do agree on the “every parent believes the true way to raise their child is their own” Just because its not the same as another parent does not mean that its incorrect.
Answer by Trying2BNice
Cut and dry? I think it’s more like “bath and dry” or “shower and dry” but cut? I don’t think so.
Answer by amsam
the key to most things is balance. and personally, i don’t think rigidity is a good trait to model any way.
Answer by PetMom
Did extended breastfeeding for two years with my children because it worked for us. I fielded a lot of rude, invasive comments during that time. I’m certainly not going to pass on negative comments regarding feeding choice of infants. (However, I do have an issue with those who bottle prop and bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying anything awful.)
While I hover, I have left the room for mere moments only to come back to mayhem and chaos. I did start letting my children have some space around eight or nine.
I have no issue with a parent who lets their children walk on their own, until they continue the habit on a day where the temps are sub zero and the wind is howling. If the weather is bad, other arrangements need to be made. (I walk or drive my children daily.)
It doesn’t matter to me whether a child has afternoons and weekends filled with activities or not. I do mind if a parent is leaving their child, regardless of age, completely unsupervised while the child terrorizes the neighborhood, vandalizing, or finding other trouble.
I’m pretty tolerant in the long run. I do have a few issues, but I would have to say that most of them have more to do with my personal preference and I’m mature enough to realize that.
Answer by Busy Barbie 007
Not I. There are occasionally times when i hear of a certain viewpoint, where i wonder how crazy must someone be to believe themselves. Otherwise, i’m very open to different viewpoints and ways of doing things.
We’re very different people, its inevitable we’ll do things differently. I don’t believe in one fits all for anything.
Answer by ஐSilly 2ஐ Due 3/17/2010
I don’t think there’s a situation on the planet that is “cut and dry”.
I think every situation is different and different things work for different parents and different kids.
Even within one family…what works for one kid may backfire for another…so it’s best to stay open minded.
However, I know what MY parenting philosophy is…and IT IS RIGHT…for MY family.
It may not work for others…and I don’t care…lol. MY family is my concern…
As far as being tolerant of others…I’m getting there.
I find it frustrating when people’s beliefs are rooted in ignorance and refusal to explore all options rather than actual knowledge…
Or if their “philosophy” is a side affect of laziness.
But again…just because I find them frustrating…doesn’t mean that it’s any of my business or my place to care one way or the other.
I used to be a lot more sensitive about things like nursing and lax parenting and unsupervised children….but the busier I get with my own son and being 9 months pregnant…the most I can muster is a head shake and mild disbelief. But I can’t say that I actually “care” anymore.
Answer by Parent
I think raising kids is a fairly simple process. I think that most of the controversies are a bunch of bs. People have been bringing up their kids for thousands of years and as a species, were thriving. Most of the issues that we seem to have with each other are self imposed. We seem to like to argue like we are a bunch of monkeys or something. Most of the debates are for self justification anyways. It’s not about the kids, it’s about making ourselves feel better/superior.
Answer by Charm
To paraphrase what I said earlier, you screw up your kids your way, I’ll screw mine up my way.
To each his own.
Answer by super_mom
Raising kids is far from cut and dry, but I get what you’re saying. I agree that everyone feels their own method is best.
The one thing I want to say about your question is that I love the show Wife Swap. After seeing almost every episode that’s ever aired, I feel completely confident in saying my way of raising children is better than the way a lot of people “raise” their children. (Again, only saying this based off Wife Swap).
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
I’d say there is some wriggle room, but not a whole lot. There are definitely wrong things you can do to make you (general you) a bad parent, (like not keeping a close eye on your toddler, or throwing a rock at your kid or anything that everyone else is going to be thoroughly disgusted with you for) and there are other things that have to be done right and can only be done the one way (like spanking a child if they do something dangerous so they don’t repeat the action and get hurt) but there’s other stuff that’s flexible, (like what you cook for dinner). Of course every parent believes their way is the right way. You wouldn’t want to raise your kid the wrong way or any way other than the right way, but different parents prioritize different things, and strictly believe that. I grew up in the 90s and we had dinner together as a family every night like in the 50s. I always thought this was weird because none of my friends families did this and for them family dinners once in a while were a big deal and something special, whereas I thought mine were torture because not only did my parents want to eat as a family they wanted to talk about everyone’s day at the dinner table. I still think the way they did it was kinda stupid. But was the way my parents did it wrong? No. And I still love and respect my parents despite their funny little dinner routine.
More like cutting through a ripe tomato with a dull knife
Nothing is ever cut and dry. I am tolerable of how others raise their children unless they let them run wild and disturb others. I will raise my kids how I see fit and expect the next person feels the same way.