How do I get my toddler to listen to me?
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Question: How do I get my toddler to listen to me?
My son wil be 3 in November and he doesn’t do most of the things I ask him to. Now I know he is only a toddler and I don’t expect him to listen to every thing I tell him to do, but what concerns me is that if he has the opportunity to take off on me he does. It is usually when I have my hands full of groceries and he is getting out of the car in our driveway that he will take off up the street. He thinks it is a game. I have tried giving him a time-out after collecting him. I have told him why he can’t run off on me. It hasn’t seemed to make any differance. He just laughs while running away from me.
Any suggestions? I’m at my wits end. I would hate to have to spend the next 10 years locked in my house.
Q&A:
Answer by math guy
That is SO common. Kids always seem to test the boundaries and want to explore. And if it results in a game of tag or hide-and-seek, all the better! The immediate time outs help, even if they don’t seem to make a difference. Another thing that my wife and I have done is to just say “bye” and go in the direction that we were headed. When the kid sees that he is alone, the game is over and he will often return — sometimes crying because he was afraid he was being left behind. Just be sure if you do this that your son is not in a dangerous place (like in the parking lot) and that you don’t lose track of where your son is. He will eventually decide that this is not a fun game, but it may last another year or so before he grows out of it entirely. Good luck!
Answer by wuvmonki
My daughter didn’t go through that but the little girl I have been taking care of for the past month was doing that.
I would grab her right away, get down to her level and have her look me in the eye. I would tell her to look at me and if she didn’t I would not let her go. When she would finally look at me I would tell her that I was not playing a game with her and if she contined to run down the street or run out of the park or not come when I called her she wouldn’t get to do_____. It would be not going to the park, taking away a treat or not coming with me somewhere fun.
It took a few weeks but now the most I have to call her is twice. Sometimes when she doesn’t listen I say, I have asked you twice, if I have to say it again…” I have never had to finish that sentence.
Going down to their level is important and they need to see the seriousness in your face and hear it in your voice. Don’t back down. Take away the toy or sit him on the step for a quiet time.
My best friend goes through this as well and her son. He almost got hit by a car. It’s better to be a little stern with them rather than them running out in the street.
I hope this helps in some way. Good luck!
Answer by kuelker5@sbcglobal.net
If a child can get away with doing what they want to do instead of what their parents want them to do, then they will do whatever it is they want to do. As for him walking down the street when you are loaded down with groceries. If it’s possible, have him contained to a certain area until you get everything unloaded and into the house. We had to put up a child gate on our front porch and leave our son on the porch while we unloaded the groceries from our car and put them on the porch. Then we would climb over and carry them all into the house. If that is not an option available for you than you might want to consider leaving him in his car seat until you have everything unloaded. My children have run off on me before and I just sat them down and told them they needed to stay close to me b/c I didn’t want to lose them and I didn’t want anyone to steal them from me. They quickly straightened up and told me that they didn’t want to lose me either so they would stay by me.
For any other requests you have for him, we have found that if you do what you are asking them to do, a child usually loves to help. My husband will usually ask the kids to clean their room and then he bends over and starts picking up their hotwheels. They usually jump right in and help finish the task. It goes along the lines of ‘I wouldn’t ask you to do anything that I myself wouldn’t do’. Why would they want to clean their room if you don’t want to clean it?
Just don’t make too many demands, or unattainable ones, and eventually he should start listening to you.
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