How Can I Tell If My Infant Son Is Gay?
5 January 2010
I think my son (8 months) may be gay. He crawls across the living-room wiggling his hips from side to side & has an excessive fondness for bright colors and “things that sparkle.” Sequins, glitter, feathers, and he really likes flowers.
Michael is fussy during meals and picky about his clothes & don’t get me started on that stuffed Lion w/ the rainbow stripped mane. I love him but I’m starting to worry he giggles alot & has a very weak handshake.
Place him on the floor in the middle of your living room. Then take two plates and place them at opposites walls. Place a banana on one plate, and a taco on the other.
Then step back and wait for him to crawl to one of the plates, if he goes towards the Taco, he’s obviously straight. If however he moves towards the banana, he is a homosexual heathen.
Trust me, though your child has not developed sexually yet, and even though I’m just some random guy sitting at my laptop wrapped up in a blanket waiting for my space heater to warm up, I’m an expert in the field of Inter-gender-baby-sexuality.
LMAO… this is hilarious! “Giggles a lot & has a very weak handshake” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I am with “My Oh My” & “Mamacita…” can’t anyone take a joke anymore? Did y’all even realize that this was a joke?
You can’t tell if your son is gay simply because he is interested in things that some gay men, and nearly all babies, would be interested in. And childhood won’t give you an accurate picture, either. As children, my sister and I both loved trucks, fighting, getting dirty, and had no female friends. We’re both heterosexual. I think you may be looking at this just a tad (emphasis on tad) too closely. Just enjoy your son.
I know that probably the only reason you put an idiotic question such as this on the internet, is so you can get attention, as it is the ONLY way you get it. You are a sad person.
I hope you get medication soon. -Stop giggling at this screen and go get help. -And a boyfriend equally as retarded as you are.
Well, sir I think you’re screwed. Be prepared to listen to a lot of show tunes, attend ballet recitals and later on lots and lots of rainbows on everything and little Filipino boyfriends named Rico. Oh i know this all to well my friend just pray that he one of those football playing in the closet till their older gays. you know the good ones the ones that keep in bottled up inside until it hurts and then they go nuts and move to thailand or turn into the unibomber lets hope for the prior.
Haha, not!
First of all, it’s called being a baby. That’s what babies do! All babies like bright colors and things that sparkle! How can an 8 month year old be fussy about their clothes!? Also, babies giggle at everything! Of course he has a “very weak handshake”, duh!
I can’t believe how stupid some people get and are becoming! I mean come on. You just wasted points for an idiotic question! ^^^This is what I call no life! Loser!
wow.. that’s.. awful.
first of all, you’re stereotyping homosexual people by saying that they all like glitter and sequins..
those views of people are socially constructed, and even worse, we’re made to believe they’re “wrong”.
second of all, what the hell is wrong with you, your child is 8 months old, how strong do you want his handshake to be?
Man, you deserve an award for being the first person to make me laugh in two weeks. Congrats. Your funny. Oh and btw, you can put him through the gay test if you would like. Ask him what color lipstick looks best on a pale skin blonde. if he says lavender or red-orange…. sorry man, your boy is GAY, QUEER, FLAMBOYANT!
Oh and I am thinking you might be gay. He doesn’t want to touch your di*k thats why his handshake is not strong.
Wow. Sorry to say but you got a homo there. When my baby cousin was 8 months has was already stiff arming other babies, hitting home runs, shooting threes, and making 360 hockey shots.
Flowers! Sparkley stuff. Crawls on the floor!!!!!! Wow I am so sorry.
You should put him to sleep.
Sorry but you need mental help if you are seriously having these thoughts. Who cares whether he is gay or not? If you are homophobic, you shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. He is only 8 months old, exploring the world like any other child. Give him a break.
are you kidding me your son is not gay baby’s are in tuned to bright colors he is only 8 months. i think you need to see a family psychologist or someone who can educate you on infant development truthfully. education
Your baby is just doing what a baby does. The gay thing doesn’t usually present itself until puberty, when the hormones kick in. The child is fine, but I am not so sure about the parent.
Ofcourse he’s gay! Why, its common knowledge that babies who are fond of bright stuff and are generally fun loving and giggly are gay.
And if he doesn’t open the door for you saying ‘ladies first’, he’s DEFINITELY gay!!
Well, there’s an easy way to tell if he’s gay or not. This weekend, take him to the strip club and get one of the girls to give him a lap dance. See how he responds.
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HES 8 MONTHS OLD!!! ALL KIDS THAT AGE LIKE BRIGHT COLORS, AND GIGGLES AND A WEAK HAND SHAKE LIKE COME ON HES 8MONTHS OLD!!!!! INCASE U HAVENT NOITCED MOST BABIES HIPS DO THAT WHEN THEY CRAWL!! THEY ARE 100% STABLE!!
I’m sorry to tell you but yr son is indeed gay..
The only solution is to bathe your son in the river of straightness send him to GI.Joe camp school.
What is the matter with you!!? You fell down and hit your head somewhere or were you out n the sum too long, because there is something seriously long with whatever is in your head! Wierdo!
Wow…. You cant tell when a baby is 8 months, he doesnt even know what love is. Babies are just drawn to things like that. You just made yourself sound like an idiot. good job.
There are babies out there with cancer, autism and many other diseases and you are worried that your kid is gay. GET OVER IT !!! Be glad that your kid is healthy.
does he have an affinity for the teletubbies? does he like will and grace reruns? does he wear skinny jeans and short shorts? if so, your babby is totalllly gay dude.
Nope you baby is perfectly fine.
Your the gay one.
Every baby does that because it attracts their eyes.
8 months? come on now you make me sick!
The only sure way of doing it is purging him in fire, then commiting suicide and see if he’s in heaven with you.
You downvoters just don’t get sarcasm.
Oh my word this is hilarious people are actually responding seriously! They call him the “idiot” *palm to forehead*
hahaha …… your an idiot ……isn’t that what babies are supposed to do? maybe this is your first baby, or your not much famiiar with babies
More than your question it’s these people that really think you’re serious that are cracking me up! Can nobody take a joke these days?
I don’t know but what i do is that your an *** for think your son is gay at 8 month old
Man this is ****** creepy you must be homophobic or something.
He’s gay.
Are you GAY? OMG he’s just being a baby and you are being a homophobe!! scaryyyyy!!!
Ur one dumb **** he is an infant and you like to stereotype, you are so stupid. All babies like shiny and colorful stuff, why do you think barney’s not emo. Hes a baby he is going to giggle, and what do you think he did for nine months in a womb, go through basic training, of course he has a weak handshake. DUMBASS